Sunday 23rd November
Breakfast time:
Richard: CRASH! We do not balance the honey on top of the marmalade, it will fall.
Me: SCOOBY! We do not put our tongues in the jam jar, we will spread germs and get sticky faces.
Turtle: PO! We do not wash our pits in the sacred pool of tears.
(They watched Kung Fu Panda twice this weekend)
Lunchtime:
Turtle: Mummy, how many days is it till Christmas?
Me: Erm...thirty-two
Turtle: How many days is it till December?
Me: Erm...seven
Turtle: So how many days is it till my birthday?
Me: Errrrm...forty-one
Scooby: And how many days is it till we are dead?
Me: Er...?
Tea time:
Baby: (scream)
Me: Okay, do you mean you want more? More? Mmmmmmore? Do you want more? Mmmmohhhhhh...?
Baby: (cocks his head on one side like a bird and points at the sandwich like I'm stupid)
Me: Yes, you can have more. Say mmore. Mmmoh. Mmmmohhhhhh.
Baby: (relenting on his silence just to shut me up) Mnah.
Me: Yey! Good boy! Did you hear that boys, Baby said his first word, he said 'more'!
Baby: (lighting up as he realises the whole family is focusing in on him)
Turtle: Hooray!!!
Baby: (misses his cue to start clapping and puts his hands in the air instead)
Everyone: Baby is...soooooo big!
Baby: (hands in the air again)
Everyone: Soooo big!
Baby: (starts clapping)
Everyone: Hooray!!
Baby: (unspoken dawning of the realisation that actually everyone else is merely a puppet in his hands and he could do with the whole family exactly as he wills...)
